JessieBoom

Forgotten God

2009-11-01T06:26:00.001-08:00

I'm sure most of us have that same moment at the end of every day. Head is on the pillow. A big yawn and long stretch. Sleep is beckoning. Oh yeah.......heeeeeey God. I make my peace. Throw in some requests. Say goodnight in a sense. I am grateful for this time...He's always faithfully
waiting... judgement free. Tonight, in our goodnight chat, a question comes to mind. "Did you use My power today? Were you even aware of it?" I know without a doubt it is HE that is asking....reminding.
I just finished reading Francis Chan's 'Forgotten God' and it has reminded me of so many truths and ignited a stronger desire to live a life that respects, knows, and USES the power of the Holy Spirit in every moment of life. How precious are those nights when we have our goodnight chat and I get to feel like my day was used for eternal purposes. There is literally NOTHING in the world that compares to that feeling. Sadly, they are too few and far between. I don't want a day to go by that I can't pinpoint a moment or moments in my day that the presence of God was undeniably evident. Moments that could not, would not happen apart from Him. I hope that saying this, recognizing it outloud, will help keep the fire lit. I have all the resources I need in order to love others perfectly, have self-control, keep my foot out of my mouth, speak for my Saviour, have words of knowledge at just the right time, prophesy, heal, and the list goes on and on and on on on.

Holy Spirit, I don't want to neglect a single moment that You could be alive through me. Change me. Renew my mind. Help me remember.

You will be known and fully know

2009-10-18T10:57:00.001-07:00

Psalm 119:17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! 18 Were I to count them,they would outnumber the grains of sand.

A day is coming when I will literally see the face of God. Our eyes will actually meet and He will KNOW me, recognize me. He will know me as a friend recognizes a friend, as a Father recognizes His daughter. The thought of this makes me well...literally...with honor, expectation, humility, joy. It's almost infathomable. You known that feeling, when you're in one of those hugs, and you don't want to let go? The embrace is a picture of the love that is felt...it wraps around you, holds on tight, it's just good. I will experience an actual embrace with my Jesus one day. I will feel that feeling of His arms all the way around overlapping in the back (cause those are my favorite). And we won't have that moment when it gets akward and one tries to let go and the other isn't ready...we will just linger there so long (we have all of eternity, I call a 12-15 year hug). Man, I can't wait.

The picture and expectation of this day will, I pray, cause us to do everything in our power to please him in this life. This life and all it's struggles are just a breath.....nothing in the span of forever.

Father, I'm sooo excited to one day lock eyes with You and be held in Your arms. In the meantime, change my desires so they are in line with Yours. Compel me to obedience. Compel me to love...Your brand of love. I love You.

I Corinthians 13:12 Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

Day Three, Der-by, Sore Feet, Grammies

2009-09-26T22:34:00.000-07:00

Another super fun day. Our feet are blistered and sore from all the walking, but There are reasons to love it. A. Lots of exercise and B. We feel like city girls. We're so LA right now. We didn't have to be at the booth until 1, so we took advantage of the morning and explored the city a bit. I just love all the old buildings. There are these 100 year old buildings that you would think they would be ritzy and expensive, but it turns out most of them are totally ghettofied on the inside with sheets hanging in the windows and everything. Weird. Wish we could've seen this place in the days of Sinatra and Marilyn Monroe.

This is an old theater that has been turned into a cathedral.

The LA public Library. The grounds are so beautiful.

JBoo getting in some reading. She's so sophisticated.

We got some coffee and breakfast at this little hole in the wall place that was literally about a 10' by 10' space. The bantar with the sales guy included the typical,"so, what are you guys in town for?" and we told him and he had no idea what we were talking about. So Jessica turns around and points to a sign in the dudes store window welcoming the NYWC. Still, no response. It was funny. Laugh. Come on....give me the courtesy laugh. Yup, there's the sign!

Right up the street was a big Soap box derby. They shut down a few streets for this thing and there's a very steep couple of blocks that the cars race down. We didn't get to see them race, but we got to see the cars. What an interesting cast of chracters.

Spaceballs.

FALCooooooR!!!

We headed back to the convention center for a bit and met some more peeps. Then we headed to the Grammy Museum which is right down the street. This was my favorite thing we have done so far. It was all about the history of the Grammys but also had so much music history and so many music artifacts. I kept wishing so many of you were there. Especially Doug and Jonathan. They could've spent hours upon hours reading each history thing and listening to all the music. I wish I could describe it to you better. Some of the things I remember: the history of each genre of music, the history of sound and you could listen to how it has changed throughout the years, the history of the studio, sound mixing and recording demonstrations, a Roland hands-on display, Michael Jackson tribute, actual pages from the songbooks of songwriters, and it goes on and on. For you Doug. Dave Brubeck's actual stick bag and a hand written lead sheet of Wayne Shorter's.

Funny.

For Jahfin, the actual page that Jimi Hendrix wrote the song Angel on.

and Bob Dylan's 'Absolutely Sweet Marie'

Some sic Roland drum machine that I could not stop playing with. See....you guys would actually know what this thing is....I just know it sounds ridiculous.

I had to take a picture of this quote by John Phillip Souza following the release of the first machine that recorded voice using a hand crank. This makes me laugh.

The Jessicas. That is how we are known in these parts.

Hoping to get to Venice Beach tomorrow. Hope someone is reading these. Missing home a bit now and all my loves....especially the bod.

Hollywood...It Was Good

2009-09-25T21:08:00.000-07:00

What a fun day. We started out by sleeping in, which we both needed desperately. Here's the view from our hotel room. Fire escapes are so cool. They make me think of Pretty Woman.

Then headed to the Convention Center again for our morning round of meet n greets. We met some really nice people and made some promising contacts, oh and had iced lattes and the most ridiculous egg and bacon sandwiches on cibatta bread. Jessica built one of her famous brochure towers to spice up our booth a bit. I think this is her tallest one yet. We'll see if it makes it through the weekend. We chanted jenga, jenga as she put the final couple top layers on.

On our afternoon break, we headed to Hollywoooood. We took the Metro which strangely required you to buy a ticket which you never used. Anyway, as we waited and searched for some sort of direction on how to get there, we recognized some other booth vendors from the convention who very kindly helped us figure out which trains to take. They were headed to a taping of Conan. So jealous. Have I mentioned how nice people are here? Seriously, everyone we have come across has gone out of their way to help us and just be kind. A change of pace from south Fla.

When we got of the metro we were ON the walk of fame. Pretty cool. The first thing we notice however is a huge Forever 21 which we can't pass up so we peek inside. Across the street was the El Capitan theater and playing there was Snow White and Toy Story 2. Wish we had time to go watch one.

Here are some stars we noted.

For Todd.

We saw the famous Kodak Theater and took some cool pics.

As I took this one I looked up and my heart jumped a bit because I thought I saw Samuel L Jackson. Turns out it was his wax figure. It looked soo real.

We were so impressed we decided to go into the wax museum. It was so much fun. We got to hang with so many famous people. I kissed George Clooney, talked with Simon Cowell, danced with Beyonce, Carrie and I are BFFs now....great day.

For Angie.

For Kyra and Bailee.

For me.

I helped Tiger with his birdie shot. He asked me to be his caddy but I told him I was just too busy with OE.

Mikeeee!

Oh Jack...

We did some more shopping cause you know women be shoppaaan. Then we headed back for some more booth time. We met some more booth vendors on the train on the way back. They were so sweet and one of them said she was legally blind. JBoo snickered thinking the lady was making a joke about being clumsy or something, but we soon realized she was not joking as she needed the arm of the other woman to get around. Whoops. Hehe. Here's a nightlife shot.

We finished the night at this old diner that has apparently been around forever and old Hollywood peeps used to go eat there. It was like a homecooked meal. Yummy.

I fell in love with our waiter. I want him to come home with me. He tried to teach us Spanish. We stunk. How cute is he?

Bed time. See ya tomorrow. We're hoping to catch a boxcar derby or go to Venice beach. (Venices beeeches!!)

LA, First Day, Baybay

2009-09-24T20:12:00.000-07:00

Well, Jessica and I traveled to LA today for the National Youth Worker's Convention. We have a booth at the convention to promote Oceans Edge. (I'll take some pictures tomorrow). Traveling anywhere with Jessica is a fun adventure of Griswald proportions. Here is a taste of our day in pictures.

Airplane shot. A snorer was next to me on the first leg. That was amusing.

Beautiful J Boo.

We got stuck in the plane for awhile in Houston. It smelled like bodies.

Had the most amaazing lunch (at 10:30 our time...weird) at Pappadeaux in the Houston airport. Crabcakes with these perfect little potato straws on top and a sauce that caused Jessica to say, "I think might cry" after the first bite. And lobster bisque with garlic bread. Redonkulous. (I will probably talk about food a lot on this trip. Mmmm food.)

Too full to walk.

Watched a bit of this on the plane in honor of you Mikey.

California from the window. It looks fake. So beautiful.

The second leg provided a new character. I noticed the guy across the aisle kissing his own forearms repeatedly. He continued to smell and press his face into his own forearms over and over for the whole 3+ hour flight. An obvious case of OCD. Poor buddy. I'll give you an impression when I get home.

Waiting for the shuttle. We met another character. (she's on the left). She had 3 gigantic gold hoop earrings in each ear and white eyeliner and hated her job with a passion.

Thought of you again mikey. We are going to the Grammy museum hopefully tomorrow. It is right next to the convention center. We met another character here. A homeless man with a tube in his neck that he hda to cover to speak. He asked for some money so he could have a place to sleep over by Skid Row which apparently is not far away. After we talked with him for a bit, he moved on to ask some people next to us as well. They straight ignored his existence. This broke my heart. How do we become so hard? He is a man with a mom and dad and dreams and hopes and a soul that is eternal just like me. How am I so blessed? I don't begin to understand God's sovereignty in these situations but I choose to be thankful and to know He is good. -sigh

There was a huge Michael Jackson tribute that we happened upon. How cool is LA? We just happened upon a huge news crew and went to check it out. It was Michael's actual background singers doing an interview about the movie tribute coming out next month. I'll try to post the video.

And we eat again. Pizza with bacon and avacado on it. Myriah and Jennie, you would've loved it.

This was in Rite Aid of all places. A taco boxcar. There is a big boxcar race in the city this weekend. I hope we can go.

This blog was inspired by JBoo and Jennie. Don't hate.

Listen!

2009-09-14T06:09:00.000-07:00

We started reading 'Meditating on the Word' by Dietrich Bonhoeffer for Small Groups this term at OE and it has refreshed the way I approach spending time in the Bible. My devotional life has always had it's ups and downs. Growing up in church, I grabbed onto some religious expectancies that have left me always feeling guilty for not reading enough, not memorizing enough....reading just to fulfill my obligation to God cause I should. But as God has a way of doing, He has helped peel off some of the layers of lies that I believe and reveal His heart on the issue. He is not angry or disappointed or giving me that 'Come oooon Jessica' face with a shake of the head when I'm not in the Word. That is what I would do, that is how we would respond. His love and patience are incomprehendable. He has lovingly showed me that all that He feels is desire....to be close to His daughter. He does it without expectation so He's never disappointed. I wish I loved like this. This makes me want to draw so near to Him. To crawl up into His lap and know Him intimately and let Him change me.
So this book, it asks you to approach your time in the Word differently. To read with different intentions. My past intentions have a lot of the time centered around an obligation. I lost sight of the joy of being truly fed by the Word. The author instructs us to meditate on scripture and by meditate I mean really chew on it until it has spoken uniquely to your spirit and you have heard the voice of God clearly and then and only then move on to the next passage. To read with the intention of hearing and don't leave until you hear Him speak. This is why the Word is called alive...it is meant to speak.
So I have started a new journal. Instead of pouring out my thoughts and prayers to Him (I have one of those journals too...anybody else have 400 journals going at once?....anyway) I intend to write the things He says to me. I hope this will force me to listen. I hope this will get me more and more in tune with the sound of His voice. I hope this will make the Word alive in me as it should be.

Eeeew...Me.

2009-09-02T15:15:00.000-07:00

I'm sick and tired of being a stinkin' sinner. There is nothing more frustrating and maddening to me than when I get a mirror reflection of myself and my sinnerness. I guess it is definitely something God allows and opens my eyes to see, because it can be a change agent. I was talking to a friend the other day and as we talked about different relationships, I felt like I just kept becoming more and more aware of my failures in communication and judgment in those relationships. I part that worries me is that I thought I was doing ok. Yup, thought I had it aaaalll figured out. Blaaahhhh! How gross. Anyway, I say this as a reminder, mainly to myself, that we can so easily become self-sufficient. When there is no huge trial going on in our lives, we're serving at church, going to church and taking notes, even working there. We pray everyday and read a verse here and there and our relationship with God is not bad. We're doin' good ya' know? That's when it can happen. And does to me. Self-Sufficiency. I've prayed before that God would teach me without a trial or without testing, but in these moments I realize why He allows them and why we need them. Can anyone relate?

Constant

2009-06-17T21:59:00.000-07:00

My beloved OE friends. Yes, we know this. Yes, we have read it and been told it while sitting in the pews. And yes, we have experienced it while most of the time being obliviously unaware. But now, we are experiencing it in all it's reality. The only constant. The only real thing. The only truth. Yes, this One who we sing about and pray to and serve is the ONLY thing that is real....the only constant. These relationships go so deep because of HIM. This love we have and are so grieved to leave behind is a gift from HIM. So I choose to praise. I have to. We have seen the hand of the living God bind us together, answer our prayers so clearly and definitely, change us, grow us, heal us, inspire us, find joy and pleasure in us and somehow even use us. Thank you Father. It has all the time been You. You alone.
Love you all more than my words could ever capture.

Feelings....Nothing more than feeelings.

2009-05-25T12:54:00.000-07:00

I just hate feelings. They overtake me sometimes to the point that I am trapped by them. They lie and deceive. There is really no truth in them. Yet how many times a day do I make decisions based on them? How much do I let them effect the way I treat people, the way I think of others, the way I think of myself, and hold on.....the way I think of God. This one saddens my heart the most. He has been reaffirming to me that the only truth, the absolute ONLY things that are absolute truth are the words written on the pages of His Word. These words should determine which decisions I make, the way I treat people, the way I think of others and myself. Just thought I'd share in case anyone else is falling into the feeling trap. The battle is in the mind. The weapon is His Word.

Proverbs 28:26 He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, But whoever walks wisely will be delivered.

Sometimes it Clicks

2009-04-25T19:18:00.000-07:00

Pastor Bob quoted this verse tonight and I've heard it hundreds of times, but tonight it came alive in my spirit. Colossians 1:27 "Christ in you, the hope of glory." (The whole first chapter of Colossians is ridiculously mind-blowing in case you haven't read it in awhile, it's worth a re-read.) This is also ridiculously mind-blowing......Christ, the living God of the universe is IN ME! What the? I wish this was more a reality in my thoughts and actions in every moment of life because if I would live as though this were truth, than this verse could finally become more than words on a page. Me: drawn to sin, prone to wander, 'always on my mind', I have hope that the glory of God can be pictured in me. Some of the characteristics I love so much about Jesus could actually be portayed in me. I know most of you who may read this know this already, but if you're like me, you are in awe of this relationship we get to have with Him. I can't get over it really. This makes me sing. This makes me worship in truth. This makes my heart spill with love for Him. This makes my arms physically reach for Him. Man, how redonkulously blessed are we??

2009-04-09T19:10:00.000-07:00

I want to remember...really remember. I hope this reminds you too. Thank you Jesus for picking me, for taking my punishment, for choosing to perform this unthinkable act that made me reconciled and at peace with You for eternity. I love You so.

Isaiah 52:13 – 53:12 (NLT)

“See, my servant will prosper; he will be highly exalted. Many were amazed when they saw him beaten and bloodied, so disfigured one would scarcely know he was a person. And he will again startle many nations. Kings will stand speechless in his presence. For they will see what they had not previously been told about; they will understand what they had not heard about.

Who has believed our message? To whom will the Lord reveal his saving power? My servant grew up in the Lord's presence like a tender green shoot, sprouting from a root in dry and sterile ground. There was nothing beautiful or majestic about his appearance, nothing to attract us to him. He was despised and rejected a man of sorrows, acquainted with bitterest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way when he went by. He was despised, and we did not care.

Yet it was our weaknesses he carried; it was our sorrows that weighed him down. And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God for his own sins! But he was wounded and crushed for our sins. He was beaten that we might have peace. He was whipped, and we were healed! All of us have strayed away like sheep. We have left God's paths to follow our own. Yet the Lord laid on him the guilt and sins of us all. He was oppressed and treated harshly, yet he never said a word. He was led as a lamb to the slaughter. And as a sheep is silent before the shearers, he did not open his mouth. From prison and trial they led him away to his death. But who among the people realized that he was dying for their sins that he was suffering their punishment? He had done no wrong, and he never deceived anyone. But he was buried like a criminal; he was put in a rich man's grave.

But it was the Lord's good plan to crush him and fill him with grief. Yet when his life is made an offering for sin, he will have a multitude of children, many heirs. He will enjoy a long life, and the Lord's plan will prosper in his hands. When he sees all that is accomplished by his anguish, he will be satisfied. And because of what he has experienced, my righteous servant will make it possible for many to be counted righteous, for he will bear all their sins. I will give him the honors of one who is mighty and great, because he exposed himself to death. He was counted among those who were sinners. He bore the sins of many and interceded for sinners.”

Is that all??

2009-03-07T15:27:00.000-08:00

I am struck by this question tonight....Could willingness be all He needs? I am distracted, unprepared, flesh, yet He uses me. Now that I write that, maybe He doesn't even need willingness. I can recall times when He's used me even when I hadn't necessarily made an acknowledgment of willingness. Am I the only one who has ever thought about this? I'm sure this discussion could push into the whole Calvanism/Arminianism debate, but the main thing I wonder is HOW could He use me......EVER?? Maybe I'll never know or understand exactly the role I play in being used of God, but I have found that sometimes willingness is all He needs. I've barely spoken His name, sin in my heart, a mind focused on self.....but one simple prayer....."Father, use me!"....and for some crazy, unimaginable reason....He does. This comforts me.

I Believe

2009-02-23T09:01:00.000-08:00

Do you ever feel like God is a million light years away? I have found myself lately begging to feel His presence. And..….I don’t. So I beg some more. And…..silence. So then the questions come. Is there something between us, keeping us apart? Show me what it is so I can repent and fix this. So I repent of everything I can think of, which is a lot….coincidently, it’s communion weekend, so I get to take it 4 times….I need extra cleansing. Yet, still, no feeling. Is He refusing my request? Maybe. He surely has the right to.
Somewhere along the road, I began believing a lie. If I don’t feel Him, He’s not near; He’s punishing me; He’s testing me; He’s withdrawn Himself from me to teach me not to take Him for granted. I began to accept this was just a season I would have to get through. Then the whisper came. Fourth communion….and finally I heard Him as clear as day. He reminded me that my feelings lie and are not in any way an indication of truth. He reminded me that His presence is constant and unfailing whether I feel it or not. There are times when I feel that goosebumpy overwhelming presence of God all on and around me and there are times when I have to just trust that He is there. We sang ‘I Believe” for communion and sometimes the words to that one just get me. So simple, yet in so many ways I don’t….believe that is. It’s good to declare it again and again, I believe, no for real, I do. I really actually believe in You God. I believe that You are the one and only God. I believe in Jesus and that He lived and died and it’s not just some story in some book. I believe that the wrath of God was satisfied when He died on the cross for me. (‘In Christ Alone’ reference, also sung this weekend.) I believe! I will keep saying it again and again, for my mind and heart are easily deceived. And finally, I believed, as I ate the fourth cracker and drank the fourth juice, that I heard a whisper and it said…”I am here. I am walking this mess right beside you whether you feel me or not. I am here.”

“The LORD Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."
Deuteronomy 31:8

Time

2009-02-03T12:41:00.000-08:00

I've been a little overwhelmed today thinking about how fast time goes by. It was just last summer......it was just Christmas right? Already February now and I fear I am in the same spot. I have these dreams, as I'm sure we all do, yet I seem to never get around to actually accomplishing them and if I ever do it's at a snail's pace. WHY??? Lazy, yes....Fear, yes.....Spiritual enemy, yes yes. What if we actually just were who God planned for us to be and did what He planned for us to do? You think it's possible and what would that look like? We accept mediocrity as success...at least I do. If I'm doing alright, not falling too badly, serving Him, praying here and there, then all is well. And the beautiful thing about Him is that it is!! His love is deep enough, His grace is sufficient enough that I could get through life living this way and still meet Him with His arms outstretched. But I fear and know I am missing something! Last week at Eikon, the speaker gave the most beautiful analogy I've heard in a long time. He was out with his daughter and saw a sloth up in a tree and couldn't wait to show it to her. So he pointed to where it was and told her to look up in the tree, but she couldn't see it. So he called her closer and pointed again, but she still couldn't see. So finally, he picked her up and they looked again, and with her cheek pressed to his, she could finally see. Cheek to cheek, her eyes could see what his could see. I want my eyes to see what my Father's eyes see. I want to see myself the way that He does and believe that I can be her. I want to see you the way He does and love you like He does. I want to see the purpose of this life the way He does and take part in it in the way that He has dreamed for me. I want to feel my cheek pressed to His and stay right there.