Listen!

We started reading 'Meditating on the Word' by Dietrich Bonhoeffer for Small Groups this term at OE and it has refreshed the way I approach spending time in the Bible. My devotional life has always had it's ups and downs. Growing up in church, I grabbed onto some religious expectancies that have left me always feeling guilty for not reading enough, not memorizing enough....reading just to fulfill my obligation to God cause I should. But as God has a way of doing, He has helped peel off some of the layers of lies that I believe and reveal His heart on the issue. He is not angry or disappointed or giving me that 'Come oooon Jessica' face with a shake of the head when I'm not in the Word. That is what I would do, that is how we would respond. His love and patience are incomprehendable. He has lovingly showed me that all that He feels is desire....to be close to His daughter. He does it without expectation so He's never disappointed. I wish I loved like this. This makes me want to draw so near to Him. To crawl up into His lap and know Him intimately and let Him change me.
So this book, it asks you to approach your time in the Word differently. To read with different intentions. My past intentions have a lot of the time centered around an obligation. I lost sight of the joy of being truly fed by the Word. The author instructs us to meditate on scripture and by meditate I mean really chew on it until it has spoken uniquely to your spirit and you have heard the voice of God clearly and then and only then move on to the next passage. To read with the intention of hearing and don't leave until you hear Him speak. This is why the Word is called alive...it is meant to speak.
So I have started a new journal. Instead of pouring out my thoughts and prayers to Him (I have one of those journals too...anybody else have 400 journals going at once?....anyway) I intend to write the things He says to me. I hope this will force me to listen. I hope this will get me more and more in tune with the sound of His voice. I hope this will make the Word alive in me as it should be.